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with love yossy

fashion, travel, lifestyle & food.

The Art Of Doing Things Alone.

3 May 2018

Me, myself & I.

I think one thing I've learnt whilst being at university is how to be more independent, as expected when you move out of your family home to live by yourself, miles away, surrounded by new people. If you know me well, I can be quite dependent, when things go wrong, when I want to do things out of my comfort zone, it was all too much for me. But actually, by being put in a lot of crappy situations at university I've learnt there's art in doing things alone.


I don't know if turning 20 has suddenly spurred something within me or maybe its because I'm so tired of saying 'I wish, I wish, I wish' when it comes to doing things but I've started throwing caution to the wind when it comes to doing things alone. The simple idea of getting the underground by myself use to stress me out, the idea of getting lost and not knowing how to find my way back would literally leave me shaking in my boots, travelling around London to places I wasn't accustomed to would put me off going. Now, when I get lost, I laugh at how silly I can sometimes be at my big age I'm still getting on the wrong train? Yikes. I love travelling by myself to go to places, earphones in, people watching, the fresh air.

Anyway, I digress slightly.


If you follow me on instagram and watch my stories you would have seen that I went to see Mabel in concert by myself recently and honestly, in my opinion, it is something that should be added to everyone's '30 things you should do before you die' bucket list, (I feel a blog idea coming along). Usually, I have one or two friends who are down to go to concerts with me but when it came to seeing Mabel no one raised their hand to go with me, at first I thought well damn, that's another artist I love, with cheap tickets that I won't see in concert, then next thing you know they've blown up and I can no longer afford to see them in concert.

But after being put in this position so many times (yes I'm referring to the time I bought a ticket to wireless festival, certain that my friends were going to book their's too but no one did so I had to sell my ticket, a festival alone? no thanks), I decided what's the harm in going alone? So, I booked my ticket and celebrated the fact I now had something to look forward to.

It felt weird standing in line by myself and then to add to it, it started to pour down with rain. Now because I came down from university for just the concert and was going straight back after, I brought a tiny bag which did not hold an umbrella (I was crying on the inside, my poor wig).

Luckily, a kind girl that goes by the name of Salve, asked me if I wanted to stand under her umbrella and from there we engaged in some small talk. Little did I know that I would become best friends with Salve and Molly (who Salve was waiting for whilst we stood in line talking). The two of them literally took me under their wing the whole night, it felt like we had known each other for years? Sharing personal stories, cracking jokes and can you believe planning our next concert together?

I had the best experience going to see Mabel by myself, it allowed me to make friends, flex my independence and create new memories. I honestly couldn't recommend it enough, if you have artists you want to see and no one to go with, go with yourself. It was so cool to read so many of your replies to my story telling me about your lone concert ventures.

See you girls at Sinead Harnett in October!


One thing I've learnt is that life is too short to keep screaming 'what if', make those decisions, put those plans into action, do it! There is no better company than yourself and no one you can rely on as much as yourself in this life. If you want to see that movie in the cinema, if you want to go out for a nice dinner, if you want to go on a weekend getaway and you can? As Shia LaBeouf once said 'do it'. We're all going to die one day (to put it simply) so why not create beautiful memories for ourselves? 

What I find is that too often we care too much or rely on other people to make decisions on things we want to do, it shouldn't be that way is something makes you happy then what is the shame in doing something alone. I use to look at people that would eat by their selves in restaurants and think 'I would never' but actually sometimes it is nice to enjoy a meal in peace without having to constantly fill awkward silences or not feel like it's rude to scroll on your phone whilst eating, freedom is that you? Why should you deny yourself of experiences and nice things because you feel like you won't have someone to share it with? 

Small things like learning I don't have to wait for my friends to walk to a lecture or that actually going to the library and sitting by yourself to do work is nice, sometimes being able to just focus on nothing but yourself and what you want in that moment of time and having the freedom to do so is so refreshing, I can't quite put my finger on it.


A lot of my friends when I told them I went alone told me 'they would never' or that they couldn't 'imagine going to a concert by themselves' but all I could think is how can I live my best life and feel like I've lived it to the full if I'm constantly waiting for someone else to want to do something too?

I've previously wrote a blog post about dating yourself and I still stand by it, I started with taking myself to see an exhibition in Saatchi Gallery that I didn't want to miss for the world, next was a concert by myself and next up I would love to go solo travelling but I think I'll wait till I can get around London without getting lost before conquering that. By doing things alone and making such last minute decision, I've met such amazing people that I'm so grateful for, another example is the lady I met on the coach after deciding to take the longer but cheaper option to take the coach back to university. She asked if she could keep me company for the rest of the ride after I borrowed her my iphone charger, we spent the whole coach ride exchanging life stories and I've never felt so inspired and in awe after meeting a stranger.

Thank you to Salve and Molly for inspiring me on this post and for being such amazing company to me that night when you didn't have to.

What's something you've done alone before or want to do alone?

until the next post,
with love yossy.

Dress & belt - Mango
Espadrilles - Ego Official
Sunglasses - H&M
Earrings - Sacha Beee Earrings or here.
Bag - Lekki Market
2 comments on "The Art Of Doing Things Alone."
  1. "how can I live my best life and feel like I've lived it to the full if I'm constantly waiting for someone else to want to do something too?"

    That quote is actually so on point. It's been a while since I've done something by myself, but I will keep this question in mind next time I want to cancel something or not do it just because I can't find anyone to go with me.

    xoxo
    Freya
    tgifreya.wordpress.com

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  2. You are so brave. I struggle with doing things alone, specially if it's not something I'm comfortable with and have done for a while. I've been doing some things and taken some small steps in order tame my anxiety. I'm so glad to see you blossom! You made friends and had an amazing time at the concert! Great post xx

    Melina | melinaelisa.com

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