We Need To Talk: Relationships

We Need To Talk.

Lately there's been a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I find myself constantly evaluating the relationships I have with people. There are so many that I've found myself unhappy in, especially since starting my first year of university, new people, new friends and what not.

So I thought I'd share some situations that light alarm bells in my head, that if you relate to, you should cancel, immediately.

If you ever feel disposable, unwanted, not cared for in a relationship, you need to let go. A good relationship, should make you feel valued, wanted, cared for. I can't explain how much it hurts when it's a constant feeling and you start to question whether you're the problem even though you're giving and doing your best in a relationship.

Never, ever doubt yourself when you know you're doing the best you can. It's them not you.

You get what you give:
I've always said you don't give to receive but that rule doesn't reply in relationships. If you feel like you're not getting the same energy, care and effort you're putting in, then it's okay to cut it off. No matter what they're relationship is to you, it should never be give, give, give on your behalf.

You deserve the same back to say the least.

Rumor has it:
If other people around you constantly have  something negative to say about the way you're being treated, it's for a reason. Listen to your loved ones because they know best and want the best for you. Sometimes you're so clouded by your own judgement and feelings that you fail to see what others around you are saying, they're not crazy, they're just being your third eye.

Don't you know that you're toxic:
Toxic relationships are hard to spot at first, but if the relationship is constantly making you feel negative, feel worse about yourself, doubt your worth then it's tox-ic.

Don't continue giving them the benefit of the doubt when they do stuff that hurts you, if someone loves you they will never go out of their way to hurt you, never should you justify their actions with 'I deserved it' no you didn't! If you love someone even the idea of hurting them, hurts you.

'You've got this!':
If they're not supporting you then are they worth your time? Our loved ones, should be some of our biggest fans in life. You can't be supporting someone with their plans, dreams and achievements if they don't give a damn about yours, that's not how it works.

They shouldn't dismiss your ideas, they should be helping you build on them, helping you make them possible, being there every step of the way.

If not? Cut them off!

Stick and stones may break my bones:
Words hurt. Especially when it's something horrible that comes from the last person you expected, someone you love. No matter what may be going on with them, there should be no reason or excuse for hurtful words to escape their lips and be placed upon you.

There's no such thing as 'it was in the heat of the moment' or 'I wasn't thinking', there's no excuse for any of it.

You're never a priority:
If you're constantly being blown off or never been part of the original plan when it comes to spending time together, then you need to reassess the relationship. You should never have to force yourself into a plan that you originally should have been part of. Your name should have been on their mind at the time of planning.

You don't know your place:
If you feel the constant need to assess where you lie in a relationship, uh-uh, in the words of O.T. Genasis, you need to cut it. Sitting there constantly questioning what you add, what your worth is to the other, if they feel the same way you do is not healthy. Know where you stand, know your importance, never doubt it.

Do the positives outweigh the negatives?
It's fun to focus on the positive, in fact its easier. Your mind gets to suppress all the negative. But if the negative does outweigh the positives, maybe its time to have a talk. All these points I'm making don't relate to relationships only but friendships, I can't preach to you too much about relationships (last time I had a boyfriend was primary school, that counts right?). So this post and point applies to everyone.

And there are some things to think about, if you feel like you relate to at least three of these, maybe its time to sit down and do some deep thinking. Being at university really allowed me to be open to new people and new types of relationships, some amazing, some unhealthy. There is no shame in not feeling the same way you did at the beginning of a relationship (when I use the word relationship I don't mean just as a couple). Do what is best for you in all situations because I don't know if you know it yet, but you honestly deserve the world and more. 

You deserve to smile, be happy and not feel held down.

so hopefully this helped someone, somehow in the slightest. i know typing this put things into perspective more for me.

until next time,
with love yossy x

What's your opinion?

  1. Keep preaching, keep telling them. Anything that makes you feel less is definetly not for you. Loved everything you had to say in this post!


  2. Very well written. We all need to hear these words! Thank you!

  3. Beautiful post! Although I completely agree with you it's still quite hard to just let go as you can't just fall out of love with someone. As well as you can't choose who you'll love. x

    Antonia || Sweet Passions


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