Motivation & A Lust For Life.

motivation & a lust for life.

This summer I spent most, if not all of it working at a new summer job. Everyday I left tired, exhausted even. I was over it after my first few days there. The money like most jobs when you're young, was the only thing motivating me. Throughout my time there I could hear this one quote my mum likes to remind me of annually, when it's either close to or after results day and its: 'give your all now so you can get the job you want and live the life you dream of'.

I didn't hate the actual job but it wasn't one I enjoyed, I didn't look forward to waking up at four in the morning to get there and starting my shift at six am. I didn't enjoy working the evening shifts and getting home just one hour before midnight.

But you do what you have to do to provide for yourself and be independent.

I've always been someone who wants to do too many things at once. I have an idea, I go and do it, have another idea and want to do that too but can't keep up with both so end up giving up on both ideas and starting something else. I can't finish one thing before starting another. 

I sold jewelry for over a year, I had a website and everything. Made some of it, ran an instagram for it, sent items to bloggers and instagrammers, I did pr, deliveries and shipping, product making and social media handling all by myself and it was too much for me. But it was a small dream, not what I wanted to do for forever.

There's so many failed dreams and plans I've had because I just couldn't find the motivation to keep my spark alive.

This summer though, working the job I did and working with people who took their job stress and anger out on me made me think about how I never wanted to work in the same kind of place ever again. I want to work and be surrounded by people who want to bring nothing but postivity into my life. I suppose the job and my experiences during my first year at university have helped me think about my future and the kind I want to have and that's why I'm writing this post to share with you guys, I want to inspire you to want the most from life.

No dream is too big or small.

I'm studying psychology at university, I want to go into clinical or forensic psychology, which if you do psychology or know anyone who does, you'd know its the most popular route to go down. To put it into perspective for you, I was in A&E years back because my blood vessel had burst (as always) and the doctor whilst pinching the bridge of my nose, asked what I wanted to be in the future, to you know make conversation. Now this was around year 11, just around after I had made my choices for A levels. When I told him clinical psychology he told me 'don't bother, you won't make it.' Blunt right?

In that moment of time I looked at mum for help, do I scrap my whole future I had finally planned out? Change my choice of future degree? I was shocked, upset and lost but did I let that stop me from continuing my dream of one day helping bring positivity, healing and light into someone else's life? No. Get rid of negative energy surrounding you, you don't need it and they certainly don't deserve you. No your ideas aren't dumb, no your dreams aren't impossible, it's never too late. If you believe in yourself that's all you need to get started.

In regards to my photography, it started as a hobby but now my dreams towards that are trumping my dreams for psychology and doing photography full time is now my dream career. Surprisingly to me at first, I received a email asking if I'd be available to shoot someone's wedding. A whole wedding? Lil' ole me? I couldn't believe it, I was beyond moved by the thought someone would want me to help capture their special  day.

But I was quick to shut the idea down, I've never done a wedding? I'm not good enough? What if I mess up? I expressed my concerns to my friends and they were so quick to pick me up and tell me that I'm talented enough if someone approached me in the first place. You really do need to be your biggest fan these days. Shut the negative vices out and keep pushing yourself to do better.

Now I've found a new lust for life, I want to create a life for myself that I enjoy, that I love. One where I wake up every morning and I look forward to the day ahead and what it will bring me. Where I don't have to motivate myself to get out of bed and not just sit there doing nothing. I'm tired of looking at other people and wishing I had their life instead of doing something to improve mine and being grateful for the one I have. So from now on, I'm going to take life by the reigns and control and make better choices.

 The life you live is the life you build.

what is something you'd love to do, achieve or experience?

dress - new look
bag - primark
slippers - primark
until the next post,
with love yossy.

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