The 20s Club.


Since I'm 20 I can officially class myself as an adult right? Do I have to order wine with my dinner? Do I suddenly have to have my life together? Know what a mortgage is? Know how to pay bills? When will I marry? It's pretty exciting being 20 but 20 is an age where I feel like more is expected of me now. 'I'm too old' for certain behaviors and habits to be acceptable. 

Yes my birthday is on april fools day and yes it was on easter sunday this year, double whammy I know. It was probably the first year where I didn't really make a fuss about my birthday, no badge, no candles to blow out and no celebrating with friends. On the morning of my birthday, Sade took me out for pancakes, we were meant to go to the Breakfast club, we even got up just before 6 am to make sure we were in central for when it opens but taking pictures for the 'gram caused us to be maybe 20 minutes plus late and you wouldn't believe it but there was already a queue and we were told that it'd be a 30 minute wait, we simply didn't have that time to wait so headed to Bill's.

The second part of my birthday was spent enjoying Hillsong's easter service for the second year in a row, like I've said before the production was amazing! We then made our way home so I could spend my day wigless and in a pair of joggers. 

It feels like like I've been waiting to turn 20 for ages, probably because most of my girl friends at university either are 20/in their 20s. Part of me is excited because it's another year on my life and I'm thankful for that but I'm also worried because adulthood is starting to face me head on. I don't feel ready to start making bigger decisions, I don't feel like I have enough knowledge on things, if anything the idea of being an adult is a bit daunting. Feels like only seconds ago I was in secondary school laughing with my friends at lunch time about what happened in first period, all of a sudden I've got 3 kids and a 9 - to -5 that is draining me of all my energy (I'm a bit of an exaggerator aren't I?).

I still get lost sometimes whilst travelling on the under and overground and now all of a sudden I'm meant to be able to tell you the difference between emerald green and jade green? What I'm trying to say is, I feel like life is starting to come at me fast, really fast. 

Although I've said all of this, I'm excited about my 20s because I feel like it's going to be some of the best years of my life, time spent finding my passion, travelling and not having too many responsibilities. I'm using 20 to find myself, better myself and fall in love with myself. Year after year, as I've got older I've become more and more self conscious about my appearance or I've become less happy with the person I am. So I've decided to really work on my journey, starting with building a closer relationship with God.

I got teary eyed during the service on sunday because it dawned on me just how blessed I am to have the family and some of the friends I have and I realised that I'm not grateful enough, although I tell people I love them every 5seconds (yes I'm mushy and emotional) I don't tell God that, I really want to work on my faith and being a better christian.

Also, I want to know before I'm 21, what I want to do for certain. Part of me wants to continue down the psychology route after getting my degree because I care passionately for mental health and letting people know they've got someone they can confined in but part of me is just as passionate, if not maybe even a bit more about photography. Which one will I pick? I haven't a clue.

Thicker skin is something I'm hoping to grow as I delve deeper into adulthood, I'm known to get teary-eyed very easily over what people can have to say, heck even over something that seems the slightest bit implied. Letting people get away with treating me a certain way has become a problem and it's just not healthy. So I'm hoping to kick all unhealthy habit and behaviors to the curb so that I can just live my life in peace and harmony.

I just want to be happy day in and day out, I want to feel as if I've grown as a person. I want to feel like I can stand on my own two feet, provide for myself, look after myself, rely on myself. 

Before my next birthday there's so many little things I want to tick off my list such as:
  • go on a solo trip 
  • get a pedicure
  • have a spa day
  • go to a festival
  • have saved up a decent amount of money
So here's to my 20s may it be everything I dreamed it would be and more.

until the next psot, 
with love yossy x

What's your opinion?

  1. This is such a lovely, heartwarming post to read! I know what you mean, I feel like responsibilities are becoming harder and harder and i’m just not prepared. I’m also hoping to go solo travelling this year, good luck with everything you want to do lovely!

    Phoebe x

  2. Happy belated birthday love! I hope 20 treats you well! xx

    melina |

  3. Just been cruising through your blog after finding you on Instagram (because I saw your post on Twitter... lol makes me sound like Joe from You on Netflix) and GIRL I LOVE YOUR POSTS. Your photography and words seem so sophisticated and articulate and heyyy you're almost the same age as me (I'm almost 21). Can SO relate about these feelings of being just about in your twenties. Are we supposed to be responsible adults now or still ~young and free from responsibility~? Mixed messages from everywhere, who knows.

    You have yourself a new loyal follower to read about how these years turn out, anyway!

    Lily Kate x


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